What you should say in the workplace
If your superior asks you to do something extra you should say, “I am not sure that should be my priority right now.” You cannot directly say, “That is not my job”. Because, if your superior asks you to do something, it is your job. You can have a conversation with your boss about your responsibilities later.
If you want to express any idea say clearly what is on your mind even the idea about which you may not think excellent. It reinforces your credibility to present your ideas with confidence. Never undermine your ideas by prefacing your remarks with feeble language. So never say, “This might sound brainless, but…”
When you do not have time to talk to someone, do not say, “I do not have time to talk to you”. Because, it is plain rude, in person or on the phone. Instead say, “I am just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I am done?” Politely explain why you cannot talk now, and suggest catching up at an appointed time later. Let phone calls go to voice mail until you can give callers your undivided attention.
What you should say during a job interview
If you need to answer why you are leaving your current job, you can say,“I am ready for a new challenge” or a similarly positive remark. But do not say anything negative about your current boss or supervisor. Because, it is unprofessional. Your interviewer might wonder when you would start bad-mouthing him/her.
If you want to show your interest in the company, you can ask, “What do you enjoy about working here?” By all means ask questions, but prepare ones that demonstrate your genuine interest in the company. You should not say, “Do you think I would fit in here?” Because, you are the interviewee, not the interviewer.
At interview, you need to be seen as someone who focuses on getting the job done. So, do not say, “What are the hours like?” or “What is the vacation policy?” Instead say, “What is the day-to-day like here?” Then, if you have really jumped through every hoop and time off still has not been mentioned, say, “Can you tell me about the compensation and benefit package?”
What you should say about someone's appearance
If a person looks tired you should ask him/her “Is everything OK?” But you should not say directly “You look tired”. Because, it implies s/he does not look good. S/he may think that we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts.
If a person has lost weight recently, you can say, “You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. But you should not say “you have lost a ton of weight!” Because, to a newly trim person, it might give the impression that s/he used to look unattractive. If you are curious about how s/he got so slim, you can add, “What is your secret?”
Just say, “You look great.” to an elder person. But do not say, “You look good for your age.” Because, anything with a limitation like this is rude. The person may translate your saying, “You look great?compared with other old people”.
If you want to comment on someone's beautiful dress, say, “You look so good in this dress.” But do not say, “I could never wear that”. It can be misunderstood as a criticism. The person may think you are saying that you could never wear that because that is so ugly.
What you should say during a fight with your partner
You should say, “I am upset that you do the same thing again. What can we do so that this stops happening?” Starting with the pronoun “I” puts the focus on how you feel, and it will make him more receptive to fixing the problem. You should not say, “You always” or “You never” or “You are (good-for-nothing)” or “You are wrong.” Because, making your conversation with “you always” and “you're wrong” is playing the blame game, and resorting to name calling makes your partner feel helpless, which puts him on the defensive and makes a bad fight worse.
If you are upset with your partner say, “I feel taken for granted when you do not help around the house. I would feel better if we could…” The best way to keep a productive fight from becoming a dirty one is to be clear about why you are upset and then offer a solution. But you should not say, “If you really loved me, you would...” Because, the more you treat your partner as if he will never satisfy you, the less satisfied you will be. Controlling your partner by imploring him to do something is not a good way to build intimacy.
What you should say to a single (or newly single) person
You should not say to a newly single person, “You were too good for him”. Because, you are basically saying s/he has bad taste. And you will be embarrassed if they ever patch it up. Instead you can say, “His/her loss!” It gets the same point across without disparaging his/her judgment.
You should say, “I am confident you will find someone who will give you exactly what you want.” It focuses on what is to come, not on the flop you are glad she has done with. So, do not say, “I am glad you got rid of him. I never liked him anyway.” Because, s/he will wonder about your fake adoration for him/her while they were together.
When you are asking a single person about his/her love life, you should say, “Seeing anyone?” If s/he is tight-lipped about his/her love life, move on to other topics. But you should not say, “How could someone as perfect as you still be single?” Because, a statement like this comes off as a backhanded compliment. What she hears is “What is wrong with you?”
What you should say about pregnancy
If someone looks pregnant, you should not directly ask, “Are you pregnant?” If you ask, she is not, and you feel totally embarrassed for essentially pointing out that she is overweight. You may say, “Hello” or “Great to see you” or “You look great.” Anything besides “Are you pregnant?” or “What's the due date?” will do.
Do not say, “Do you plan on breast-feeding?” Because, the issue can be controversial, and she may not want to discuss her decision publicly. You can say n othing about it. Unless you are very close, do not ask. If you slip, make up for the slip-up by adding, “And do you feel comfortable telling me?”
If your superior asks you to do something extra you should say, “I am not sure that should be my priority right now.” You cannot directly say, “That is not my job”. Because, if your superior asks you to do something, it is your job. You can have a conversation with your boss about your responsibilities later.
If you want to express any idea say clearly what is on your mind even the idea about which you may not think excellent. It reinforces your credibility to present your ideas with confidence. Never undermine your ideas by prefacing your remarks with feeble language. So never say, “This might sound brainless, but…”
When you do not have time to talk to someone, do not say, “I do not have time to talk to you”. Because, it is plain rude, in person or on the phone. Instead say, “I am just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I am done?” Politely explain why you cannot talk now, and suggest catching up at an appointed time later. Let phone calls go to voice mail until you can give callers your undivided attention.
What you should say during a job interview
If you need to answer why you are leaving your current job, you can say,“I am ready for a new challenge” or a similarly positive remark. But do not say anything negative about your current boss or supervisor. Because, it is unprofessional. Your interviewer might wonder when you would start bad-mouthing him/her.
If you want to show your interest in the company, you can ask, “What do you enjoy about working here?” By all means ask questions, but prepare ones that demonstrate your genuine interest in the company. You should not say, “Do you think I would fit in here?” Because, you are the interviewee, not the interviewer.
At interview, you need to be seen as someone who focuses on getting the job done. So, do not say, “What are the hours like?” or “What is the vacation policy?” Instead say, “What is the day-to-day like here?” Then, if you have really jumped through every hoop and time off still has not been mentioned, say, “Can you tell me about the compensation and benefit package?”
What you should say about someone's appearance
If a person looks tired you should ask him/her “Is everything OK?” But you should not say directly “You look tired”. Because, it implies s/he does not look good. S/he may think that we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts.
If a person has lost weight recently, you can say, “You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. But you should not say “you have lost a ton of weight!” Because, to a newly trim person, it might give the impression that s/he used to look unattractive. If you are curious about how s/he got so slim, you can add, “What is your secret?”
Just say, “You look great.” to an elder person. But do not say, “You look good for your age.” Because, anything with a limitation like this is rude. The person may translate your saying, “You look great?compared with other old people”.
If you want to comment on someone's beautiful dress, say, “You look so good in this dress.” But do not say, “I could never wear that”. It can be misunderstood as a criticism. The person may think you are saying that you could never wear that because that is so ugly.
What you should say during a fight with your partner
You should say, “I am upset that you do the same thing again. What can we do so that this stops happening?” Starting with the pronoun “I” puts the focus on how you feel, and it will make him more receptive to fixing the problem. You should not say, “You always” or “You never” or “You are (good-for-nothing)” or “You are wrong.” Because, making your conversation with “you always” and “you're wrong” is playing the blame game, and resorting to name calling makes your partner feel helpless, which puts him on the defensive and makes a bad fight worse.
If you are upset with your partner say, “I feel taken for granted when you do not help around the house. I would feel better if we could…” The best way to keep a productive fight from becoming a dirty one is to be clear about why you are upset and then offer a solution. But you should not say, “If you really loved me, you would...” Because, the more you treat your partner as if he will never satisfy you, the less satisfied you will be. Controlling your partner by imploring him to do something is not a good way to build intimacy.
What you should say to a single (or newly single) person
You should not say to a newly single person, “You were too good for him”. Because, you are basically saying s/he has bad taste. And you will be embarrassed if they ever patch it up. Instead you can say, “His/her loss!” It gets the same point across without disparaging his/her judgment.
You should say, “I am confident you will find someone who will give you exactly what you want.” It focuses on what is to come, not on the flop you are glad she has done with. So, do not say, “I am glad you got rid of him. I never liked him anyway.” Because, s/he will wonder about your fake adoration for him/her while they were together.
When you are asking a single person about his/her love life, you should say, “Seeing anyone?” If s/he is tight-lipped about his/her love life, move on to other topics. But you should not say, “How could someone as perfect as you still be single?” Because, a statement like this comes off as a backhanded compliment. What she hears is “What is wrong with you?”
What you should say about pregnancy
If someone looks pregnant, you should not directly ask, “Are you pregnant?” If you ask, she is not, and you feel totally embarrassed for essentially pointing out that she is overweight. You may say, “Hello” or “Great to see you” or “You look great.” Anything besides “Are you pregnant?” or “What's the due date?” will do.
Do not say, “Do you plan on breast-feeding?” Because, the issue can be controversial, and she may not want to discuss her decision publicly. You can say n othing about it. Unless you are very close, do not ask. If you slip, make up for the slip-up by adding, “And do you feel comfortable telling me?”
Writer: Salauddin Riad, ELL, JU
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